my life of denial
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
today exam, JNB was a big screw up. im almost go crazy doing that paper, theres a damn stupid question that i wad stumbled over it. haha, anyway shall stop that exams thingy here. anyway, i have doubts about posting so many things i want to say, but i decided to post in the end.
cut short to my main point for today's entry. im kinda thinking what was i doing and living for these past few months. Seriously, theres something wrong with me and i dont know what is wrong. im living in a life of denial, maybe sue ann was right afterall. im just afraid of fuckingly everything yet on the outside i appear so different. I only know that, i do not want my friends to worry for me, im a independent asshole woman. damn with my independent-ness, i made myself so screw up in life. Why i just cant be someone who relies on others at times too. I fuckingly just dont know man. Did you all know that know that pple who appear strong on the outside are apprently pple who are quite soft in the inside. damn with that man.
was in the bus 76, quite a ride from parkway side to home since i was alone, i thought about many things. my school, friends, relationships and stuffs and myself. it occured to me that i changed quite alot maybe due to that guy. but that was last year and anyway, things are different now. im not thinking about him la, oh please, he's so yesterday man. Anyway, im more concerned over something else. if i were to say sue ann mitchell is right about what she says on the phone then she will laugh and say, "SEE I TOLD YOU". who cares anyway, let me think about it tonight ok. *giggles*
one more thing, dont ask me why i dont have a bf. i shall reply you now. im damn afraid to go into a relationship ok. yeah, shan is afraid. seeing my friends around me being sad over their bf and stuffs, makes me think that sometimes i dont have the strength to handle these relationship stuffs properly. cause, im a damn lousy girlfriend. *opps, there goes my secret*
there goes the longest post and most secretest entry of mine.
*ENJOY*
